photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc
Have you ever paid attention to the things you think? Have you noticed any patterns? I don’t know about your mind, but mine is hardwired into thinking negatively. I’m not sure when this started to happen or why, but I have recently become more mindful of this fact.
I’ve noticed that not only do I think negatively about other people, but that I am extremely negative to myself. “I’m not that smart”. “I can’t think creatively”. “I suck at math”. “I’m never going to find a job”. What is the point to that? Why put yourself down so often? The answer: excuses. We create these excuses to make us believe that we are not able to reach our goals. That way, if we don’t reach our goals, we don’t feel bad.
It’s embarrassing the amount of times that I’ve caught myself thinking things like “life is out to get me” or “of course this is happening, I can’t do anything right”. It seriously disgusts me that I’ve fallen into a habit of thinking about myself so negatively. But imagine I stopped? Imagine if I turned those thoughts into positive ones? I believe that our brains are a lot more powerful than we think. Just think of the possibilities when we convince ourselves that we can do something. “I am smart”. “I feel so happy”. “I am a successful person”. Happiness ensues.
I found a really interesting TED Talk on changing the way you think and rewiring the brain to think more positively. It’s definitely worth a watch:
Are you mindful of your thoughts? How have you started to change the neural pathways in your brain?
As I’m attempting to adopt a more simplistic way of life, I try to wake up each day with a positive attitude. Try to. Easier said than done, that’s for sure. I find myself in the same mind-frame every weekday morning; “I don’t want to go to work”. Every day, it seems that my brain automatically jumps to this thought. I can’t help it.
Weekends are totally different. I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on boring chores around the house. Why is it that I dread going to a job that I actually sort of enjoy, but I look forward to doing mundane house-work? I somehow need to channel that weekend excitement into my weekday mornings. Isn’t that what we all want?
I wish I could write about how I look forward to my day, how I feel happy when I wake up, how I take my time in the morning; read a book, go for a walk, make some coffee… I don’t. I wake up, get dressed and go to work. I have tried to wake up earlier to give myself some time to relax before work, but I end up staying in bed hitting the snooze button over and over again.
I’ve read tips, I’ve researched strategies, but I just can’t seem to get my mind to do what I want. It’s so easy to convince myself that tomorrow morning will be different, but as soon as I hear my alarm, the anger boils. “What’s the point in getting up. I could just stay in bed. Maybe I should call in sick?”. Everyday.
So how do I change it? I don’t know. At least I am aware of the problem. Maybe yoga? A better diet? A new job? I don’t have the answer. For now, I need to continue with my self-discovery and see if something surfaces. I need to get to know myself (and my brain) a little better.
This is part of my journey, and it’s not going to be easy.